Womb Healing

Photo taken by: Katrina Kost

Our wombs are a powerful place! This is where creation begins and where creation grows! When I realized how very true this was, I began to heal my stage 4 endometriosis. Endometriosis is a dis-ease that attacks your pelvic organs. It is when the tissue from your uterine lining grows outside of the uterus. This affects your ovaries, fallopian tubes, your colon, your bladder, and can also end up on your kidneys, heart, lungs, and even your brain in rare cases! In most, it causes extreme chronic pain, very heavy bleeding, and can cause numerous other health problems. It fuses your pelvic organs together and can also cause infertility.

Most women go through numerous surgeries to have this only temporarily fixed and my surgery never worked! I still continued to have terrible pain! I was told in 2012, after being diagnosed by laparoscopy that my only options were more surgery, hysterectomy, hormones, or being on strong pain medication the rest of my life. I said, "No way, I'm going to find a different way to fix this!"

Endometriosis doesn't just affect your physical health. It affects everything in your life from your relationships, your friendships, your job, and your overall well-being. I used to have pain 24/7 from this dis-ease. I couldn't have sex with my husband because, it was too painful. I couldn't go to work due to the pain. I would have to cancel plans because, of the pain. I felt like an awful mother and wife and this made me incredibly depressed.

Sometimes I would bleed for weeks at a time, so I became anemic from all of the blood I was losing. Losing all of the blood made me exhausted all of the time. I felt like I had no quality of life left and that this dis-ease had taken everything from me. There were days at a time that I had to make myself get out of bed. I had thoughts that it would just be easier if I gave up. It took so much strength for me not to. I also had 5 miscarriages which creates more emotional pain. But, I continued to get up every day as hard as it was to do. I needed to for my son.

The problem with Endometriosis is that modern medicine can't figure it out. They say there is no cure for it. Doctors recommend surgery, yet this only creates more scar tissue which is really bad for someone with endometriosis. They recommend a hysterectomy and yet women still have the dis-ease after everything has been removed. They recommend hormones that make you feel terrible and medication that is also used as a chemo-therapy drug for prostate cancer. This drug shuts down your ovaries so that you no longer ovulate, putting you into menopause.

It can also take years to get diagnosed because, most doctors think you are just experiencing "normal period pain" and they don't take you seriously. So, this can get extremely frustrating for women! I went through at least 10 to 15 doctors before I was able to get a diagnosis. There were so many who were unkind to me, rolling their eyes, and questioning my mental health. When I finally did have a doctor take me seriously, they were amazed with how bad my endometriosis was. It was EVERYWHERE! The doctor said she has no idea how I even got pregnant with my son, that I must have had it for many years. He was such a miracle! I knew since I was a teenager that I had this dis-ease and didn't get diagnosed until I was in my 30's!

Now, please know that I respect modern medicine and I think there are some really great doctors out there who have done amazing things! But, modern medicine didn't work for me. So, I decided to try something different. I wanted my life back! Modern medicine tends to only cover up the symptoms in some cases by prescribing medicine or doing surgery, rather than really getting to the root of the problem. Our health problems run much deeper than most realize. There are numerous stories out there of women who agree.

I created a support group for women after I was diagnosed with Endometriosis. At first, it was because I needed the emotional support. Then it turned into me sharing my healing story, helping others share theirs, spreading awareness of holistic healing, and offering emotional support to women all over the world! It only started out with 20 women and has now grown to over 2,000! I also have a private group that is almost at 2,000 as well. The more I heal myself, the bigger the group grows! You can find my private group here and my public group here. I read so many stories every day of women who are struggling to function in their every day lives. So many are having financial problems, relationships problems, and some are even having thoughts of suicide! But, since I started spreading awareness of holistic healing some of these women are finally starting to heal themselves and it is a beautiful thing to witness!

During my healing journey I tried many different holistic methods! I changed my diet by cutting out GMO's, hormones, processed foods, fast foods, pesticides, etc. I got rid of most chemicals in my home, became more aware of what was in my beauty products, and started making my own all-natural products. I began dancing, doing yoga, let go of negative thoughts, tried meditation, using crystals etc. I also worked on healing my past lives. All of these things started to make me feel better and got rid of a lot of other symptoms I was experiencing at the time (seizures, dizzy spells, chest pain, shortness of breath, rashes, and some of my pain temporarily etc.). You can read how I healed that under My Story. But, I was still having endometriosis symptoms!

It wasn't until someone recommended the book Womb Wisdom by Padma and Anaiya Aon Prakasha that things started to really change. I purchased it on Amazon. This book explains that in the past and present day indigenous traditions, women have known that the womb houses the greatest power a woman possesses; the power to create on all levels. Utilized in the process of giving birth, this power of creation can also be tapped in the birth of projects, careers, personal healing, spirituality, and relationships.

However, because the womb stores the energetic imprint of every intimate encounter-loving or not-the creative voice of the womb is often muffled or absent altogether, affecting the emotional, mental, and spiritual health of women and their relationships. Drawing on sacred traditions from ancient India, Tibet, Egypt, Gnostic Christianity, and Judaism, the practice of Womb Wisdom empowers women to become aware of the intuitive voice of the womb outside of pregnancy and the moon cycle to unlock this potent inner source for creativity, birthing the new conscious children, spiritual growth, and transformation not only for themselves but also for their male partners.

Womb Wisdom presents information that is not new; rather, it represents a resurfacing of wisdom about the hidden power of women that has been lost and forgotten. This wisdom was originally part of one teaching practiced thousands of years ago, before it's elements were separated piece by piece into different traditions to preserve their sanctity and the transformative power that they hold. These lineage teachings gave rise to direct experience of the womb and were validated in experiential teaching, healings, and openings of the womb shared in retreats and workshops for thousands of women.

***Info taken from Womb Wisdom.

When I began to communicate with the energy in my womb, everything in my life began to change! I even had a mass in my pelvis just disappear! About 6 months prior to beginning my womb practices I was diagnosed with a mass that had to be monitored every 2 months to make sure it didn't grow. After I did my first womb meditation, I felt an incredible shift within my womb. I went in for a follow up ultrasound and the mass was GONE, completely GONE! When one doctor couldn't find it, they pulled another doctor into the room and they couldn't find it. Their mouths hit the floor and they were in utter disbelief! They even asked if I had surgery since the last time I saw them. I of course replied, "Um, no." It was in this moment that I realized I was doing something right!

Our wombs hold every relationship and intimate encounter, our self worth, our past traumas, and our creativity. We also hold onto our parents energies and our ancestors energies. When we hold onto the energy that is no longer good for us, it creates dis-ease within our wombs. The womb exercises and practices in the book, help you to release these energies and finally heal them. When we start doing it, our self worth improves, we heal our physical pain, and our creativity surfaces! I also started to see my reflection in every relationship, which also helped me heal. Looking within and standing in my truth made the most significant impact.

I can't begin to tell you how much my life has changed due to this practice. My pain has decreased by at least 90%, I've healed my self worth issues, healed my relationships, and so much creativity surfaced for me! I used to never see myself worthy of anything. I would admire everyone else for their talents and never saw my work as "good enough." I finally started seeing myself as worthy and when I did that, so many beautiful doors of opportunity opened up for me! I went from not having a clue who I was, to developing many different passions!

I started dancing in my 30's and became a dance teacher, I began teaching myself how to make all kinds of things, opened up an Etsy shop selling handmade tutu dresses, headbands, hairbows, and crystal jewelry! I got into photography and won 1st place in our community photo contest and began doing photo shoots for family and friends. Now, I'm dedicating my time to thousands of women all over the world who need help! I'm also a facilitator for holistic healing practitioners and started my own business as a spiritual life coach!

Most importantly, I healed my pain so that I could do these things. It also improved my relationship with my son, my husband, and everyone else in my life! Because, I finally felt well and good about myself. It's really important to be treated as a whole. We must look at our mind, body, and spirit in order to fully heal. If our mind and spirit is out of balance, our bodies will be too. Everyone is different though. I believe we all have different paths and I respect that. So, this might not be the route that some choose to go. Sometimes, it takes us hitting rock bottom to opening our minds to different methods and beliefs. I definitely had to hit rock bottom.

I also advise if you haven't had a full metabolic work up, you should! I thought that my endometriosis was causing my ovaries not to function anymore and found out it was due to my lack of vitamin D! The doctor even diagnosed me with pre-mature menopause and said there was nothing he could do for me. My FSH level was high and ovary function very low. He also told me he thought that my surgery back in 2012 destroyed my ovaries from all of the scraping they did! After doing my own research and following my own intuition, I decided to take a different form of vitamin D. I was already taking a supplement, but realized my body wasn't absorbing it! When I did that, I started ovulating again!!! I can't say this enough, we all need to be advocates for our own health! You know your body more than anyone else does. Trust your intuition!

I'm very excited to share with you that next month there will be a documentary made of my healing story! I can't wait to share it with you! Also, for those who want to learn more about Endometriosis, there was a documentary made about it this past year. You can find it here. I haven't had a chance to watch it yet! But, it had great reviews! Looking forward to it!

I am so unbelievably grateful for this journey! It's been hard as hell but, it has taught me so much! One of my favorite quotes is, "The wound is the place where the light enters you." by Rumi. If we see our wounds as a gift, we can heal on such a deep level. My wounds helped me to grow, gave me more compassion for others as well as for myself, and it brought me to my true purpose.

Sending all of you healing hugs! I hope my blog inspired you today!

Much love,

Katrina Kost

Founder of Awaken Love

Spiritual Life Coach